Making Art and Mothering

This post was originally published at Pyragraph and is reposted here with kind permission.

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She nursed on the muse at first,
then became her own mother
—Erica Jong, from Self-Portrait

Four years ago, I was digging deep into the music world around me. I was getting calls from jazz, classical and pop ensembles for a regular variety of work and I had just published a book of poetry. I was quite busy and planning for a near future of more of that. Four years ago, I also became a mother. I had no idea what I was about to get into!

Call me naive, but I just wasn’t prepared for the onset of colic in a newborn to last over four months. Every day from 5-8pm my little baby would scream her head off no matter what we did. I thought she was breaking. It was so exhausting that my husband and I began to dread the “witching hour,” as we later learned it is called. That type of mothering dipped severely into my creative flow. I was paralyzed by serious duty, and like so many other artists without an expressive outlet, I got depressed.

Life has definitely improved since that dark winter.

It might have taken me a few years to notice, but I am embracing the fact that though my time to produce/work on my craft has diminished as a mother, the quality of my work and focus on it seems to have increased and improved. I don’t get as much time as I used to, so I make better use of it.

When I was a brand new parent, I was struck with awe at how little time I had for self-care, let alone time to practice my instrument. I searched online for resources from other mothers who are musicians. Indeed, I am not alone out there, but it was difficult to find the self-help/buck-up-kid words I longed for. I needed a mother for my artist me!

About that same time, a mother/musician acquaintance of mine who was living out of the country, started posting on her Facebook page exactly what she did, hour-by-hour, with her two-year-old each day. It was her practice to write out a daily journal of time spent with child/art/family merged together. I thought that was beautiful, and looking back, reading her passages was sort of a turning point for me. I started to do the same in my own private journal—there were good days, challenging days, ideal days, disaster days, and goals to strive for. It also helped me see how I was actually spending my time.

Present day good news: I have a happy four-year-old. I consider that to be the supreme guidepost of any success. Also, my duties have eased up, as she goes to preschool and plays in her imaginary worlds at home. Time has definitely expanded for my creativity to live alongside my mothering duties and I am grateful. Every now and then, I still find it helpful to write out a daily log.

Here’s a recent example of one of our days.

  • 7:00—Woke before the others
  • 7:10—Wrote in my journal
  • 7:30—Made coffee and granola w/berries for the family and me
  • 8:10—Got kiddo dressed
  • 8:45—Prepared sheet music for a rehearsal, tuned and practiced (child playing by herself)
  • 9:30—Went to Musicians’ Union office to photocopy and connect with colleagues (with kiddo)
  • 10:30—Arrived home to rehearse w/ violinist who also has a kiddo—children played; adults played
  • 12:00—Finished rehearsal and hung out for a bit
  • 12:30—Friends left; hubby came home; we all ate lunch together
  • 1:00-1:20—Cleaned up dishes, kitchen and child
  • 1:20-1:45—Hubby took kiddo on a walk so I could message clients/make phone calls
  • 1:45—Got ready to thrift shop and run errands with kiddo
  • 1:55—Abort mission! Bee sting! Child stepped on a bee on the walk!
  • 2:00—Nursed wounded child; applied baking soda compress; ice cream; cartoons
  • 2:20-4:30—Kiddo said she wanted to stay home; worked closely on an activity book together
  • 4:30-6pm—Prepared dinner, ate and cleaned up
  • 6:00-6:30pm—More client emails, writing and invoices
  • 7:00—Drove downtown as a family to hear a musician friend’s house concert
  • 9:15—Dropped off semi-overdue children’s library books
  • 9:30—At home; kiddo fell asleep in the car and plopped peacefully into bed
  • 9:45-11:45—Typed up song lyrics and poems, worked on a writing submission, listened to Self-Employed Happy Hour (a Pyragraph Podcast!), practiced my instrument
  • 11:45-12:00—Read in bed

Keep the Night Dark

I am recording an album! I’m so thrilled to be working on my first full-length album of original songs.

Entitled, ‘Keep the Night Dark’, this work is a 12-track album reflective of many musical styles: waltz, jazz, Indian raga, ambient drone, do-wop, classical, neo-folk with added vocal lyrics repurposed from my original poems and inspiration from the writings of contemporary Am. poet Anne Sexton, 17th Cent. British mystic William Blake, 18th Cent. French epicurean Brillat-Savarin, Greek mythology, and the world’s first feminist/poet, Sappho.

All songs of KtND were written over the past five years. I am super excited by stellar musicians participating! – my bandmates in The Daphnes (Nate Omdal, bass and Julie Baldridge, violin), plus two amazing drummers (Greg Campbell and Jeremy Jones) and more mystery surprise sound makers!

Harp repertoire of this kind does not readily exist. KtND reflects my wildly wide range of musical tastes. Because I long to play music that covers a broad scope, it took a break from performing to realize the only composer who could fulfill that desire was me!

While recording at Gallery 1412 last week, Greg asked me if I’d always sung. I did. I had. I had just stopped. For about 15 years. When I studied music in college, I thought I should focus on harp. The harp is a complex instrument and I had much to learn. Since it took so much of my time to study, I didn’t have energy to sing. So that was that.

When I stopped performing 5 years ago for a while to have a child, I found myself singing to her all the time. Then, I would write the songs out or record them. Thus, there’s a thematic feeling all the way through that I think comes from subterranean tide pools of maternal emotion. The album also covers general and mythic mother/daughter relations, and nighttime activities like stargazing at constellations and recognition of light pollution.

Soon, Sonarchy Radio will broadcast a session of KtND songs that The Daphnes recorded in June of this year – Stay tuned!

I will also be doing some fundraising concerts for the album this fall as I begin to wrap up the recording process.

Fundraising Concert of November:
Harpy Hour – Tues. November 3rd 

Stone Way Cafe – 
3510 Stone Way
Seattle, WA  98103
Happy Hour + Harp Music = Harpy Hour
4-6pm
$1 off drinks

 

Like My Facebook!

Enough already. That’s what you’re thinking, right? Everyone wants to have 150 thumbs up and 1000 likes! Well, I guess that makes me no different. I just want to make sure someone out there’s reading my posts : )

Here I am, waiving my hands in the air saying, “Like me! Like me!”

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Monica-Schley-harp/81551655517

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Certification Complete!

Monica Schley, CCM
Monica Schley, CCM

Three years in the making, and I am now officially a Certified Therapeutic Musician!

Therapeutic music is live music played at the bedside, where the musician responds to immediate needs of the patient. Vibrations of harp stings applied therapeutically can relieve pain, release anxiety, diminish nausea, stabilize heart rate and body rhythms as well as improve sleep and calm the environment.

Through my training I have played over 45 hours of music at the bedside for 200+ patients. I have played at an outpatient dialysis clinic; a general hospital (for pre- and post- operations and in ICU (intensive care unit); skilled nursing facilities; and for hospice.

HUGE Thanks!
First and foremost – thank you dear husband and daughter, you have been with me on this journey all the way… Many hours I have been absent from home to make this certification happen and I know its wasn’t easy to have me gone at suppertime and sometimes bedtime – I love you.

Many thanks to my parents Otto & Nancy, for lending me the money for Level 2 – you have given me the greatest amount of musical support in my life – I love you both so much.

To my awesome mentor Edie Enns (Bremerton, WA) for your unwaivering cheerfulness, career insight and faith in me. Thank you Dee Sweeney (Littleton, CO), program director, for your hard work of managing everything!

Essential Thank you to my internship venues and my patrons of support: NW Kidney Center (Annette Gildeman); Columbia Lutheran Home (Chris Galvin); and Highline Hospital (Kimberly Couret). Without your approval of having me play for your patients/residents, I would have never been able to complete my intern hours.

Thanks Laurie Riley, for starting this program in the first place! Like you, I believe so much in the healing power of music – I would have never guessed that meeting you at Vashon Island Harp Camp 5 years ago would have started all this! – thank you Leslie McMichael for inviting me out. Susan McLain, thank you for the use of “little sister” as I like to call her. Judy Friesem, thank you for letting me talk your ear off. Thanks to my colleagues down at the Musicians’ Union who have been so flexible and supportive of me over the years without really knowing it! – Motter Snell, Warren Johnson, Kirsten James, Nate Omdal, Joan Sandler, Paul Bigman… you stand up for what is just and fair in the world and you’re awesome.

To see a project like this from its start to finish has been more deeply rewarding than I could have imagined. I see this chapter in my life playing therapeutic bedside music as being another tool in my “musical toolkit” – I marvel at the places it has already taken me and I look very forward to the future.

Back When It Began (Vashon Island)
Back When It Began (Vashon Island)

My Day Job Taught Me A Lot & Now Its Time To Move On

DISCLAIMER: I am writing this post to spell out the logic of my negative thought patterns and debunk them.

Every musician has heard it. “Quitting your day job is a bad move.”

Yeah? What was that? I just did.

Let me say that again: I QUIT. MY DAY JOB.

This decision was not arrived at lightly. I should say, I was raised in a Midwestern family where work defines you. Work is something you persevere. You may like it, but that’s not necessarily going to happen. Consider yourself lucky if it does.

I started working part-time at age 14 doing housecleaning, babysitting and playing church organ (Dana Carvey’s SNL “Church Lady Church Chat” came at a VERY unfortunate time for me!). By sixteen I worked two part-time summer jobs. I was not unique to my peers.

I haven’t even told me own mother this news yet, because I know she will worry. Not to mention what the rest of my family will think, fueled by the lack of value our society places in art and the artist. I know they mean well, but the time as come for me to step it up a little and do something bold.

This past Christmas, my aunt asked when I was going back to work after the holidays. I said, I haven’t been on a break, I’ve been playing and teaching and working on music. She said, “No. When do you go back to your real job?”

(SIGH!)

Music IS my real job. Its a calling. I’ve tried to avoid the knock at the door, but it won’t go away. That’s sometimes hard to explain, hence this blog entry.

As John Zorn said, “Music is one of the great Mysteries. It gives life. It is not a career, not a business, nor a craft. It is a gift… and a great responsibility. Because one can never know where the creative spark comes from or why it exists, it must be treasured as Mystery.”

And I’ve been trying to say something like this for years, really. Maybe I haven’t been very good at it. Or maybe no one wanted to listen. And after a while, I started to believe it too.

These nay-saying voices were the reason I could never pull it together. I would hear the self-doubt in the back my head saying I wasn’t good enough. Or that I was foolish. Or that music can’t be a career. I was raised on a tough love work ethic and served myself the same medicine. This sort of cautionary view is prevalent in our society. Art and music programs are being gutted and privately funded in public school. One of the reasons I moved to the West Coast was to escape some of that outer-criticsm and lack of fitting in. But then, almost by accident, I landed a really good day job. Something that was music related.

Many friends and colleagues know, I’ve had the same office job for years, a decade to be exact. My position as office secretary at the Seattle Musicians’ Union has offered me security during the 2008 Recession, comfort during a maternity leave, healthcare insurance, and I even got paid jury duty leave two times, not to mention holiday pay and wage increases. It has been more than fair and diplomatic with reasonable hours. A job like this doesn’t come around every day, and in the wake of Right to Work, a job like this has little chance at being created outside of the labor movement (unless something systemically changes in our country on how we value human beings versus how we value hoarding money and power). Through this job, I’ve learned a heck of A LOT about the Seattle music scene, contract negotiation, wages, bargaining, workers’ and musicians’ rights, the labor movement, PROs (performers rights organizations) etc. etc. etc.

But you know what? Its not my calling to sit behind a desk for the rest of my life. I’ve liked this job. It’s taught me a lot, and now its time to move on. I have never taken it for granted, so its been a difficult decision to leave, but, I need to know what it feels like to fly on my own.

Negative chatter be damned.

So, what am I going to do? Well, for the past four years, since having my daughter, I’ve said I’ve been working quietly behind the scenes. This is code for: 1) steadily increasing work and 2) hashing out a business plan!

(As an aside, I think it is terrible that so few universities and conservatories require business classes for Art, Music and Creative Writing majors. It is a total shame to our society. I think many more artists would make the break and be successful if they new how to start. And I know it wouldn’t have taken me this long. If you’re thinking like I’m thinking, read The Right-Brain Business Plan by Jennifer Lee.)

So, here’s my five-fold business plan:

P – Performances (public shows, concerts, restaurant gigs, orchestral/band work, or music held in large venues, halls, lounges, museums, galleries, something where there’s a cover). I’m VERY EXCITED about my new project, The Daphnes, which is a modern harp quartet of original music. We are playing MARCH 7 at The Sorrento Hotel; and MARCH 12 at Egan’s in Ballard. Check out my Concert Calendar please!

R – Recordings (either my own CDs or others.) Some musicians’ albums I’ve recorded for include: Ahamefule Oluo & Soulchilde; Hey Marsailles; The Parenthetical Girls; Jherek Bischoff; Secret Chiefs 3 (for John Zorn’s Masada); Bill Horist and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.  I want to create more room for this sort of work with other musicians and take The Daphnes into the studio very soon!

E – Events, Weddings, and Funerals – corporate & private events (usually I play solo harp or duet combinations of harp+bass; harp+cello, harp+flute, etc. But there’s so much more I’m open to and capable of…) This is a guess, but I think I’ve played around 250 weddings. Indoor. Outdoor. On the side of Snoqualmie Falls.

T – is for Teaching. I dig it. Right now I’ve got students coming to my home studio in Wallingford on Monday afternoons/evenings.

H – Healing. This is my new path! Next month, I will have a certification for playing therapeutic bedside music. My title will be Certified Clinical Musician. Right now, I’m playing Thursdays at a general hospital. I’m looking for more work, particularly with hospices in King County. This new path is wide open and I expect to expand this aspect of my business, and maybe even form an LLC.

I have other little things up my sleeve, but this is the bulk of my news. As of March 31, I will be a free agent of music and writing and other creative happenings. I’m expecting to fly.

Expecting to Fly
Expecting to Fly

I’ll close with a quote by Paulo Coelho that’s inspired me to take the leap: A boat is safe in the harbor. But this is not the purpose of the boat.”

Top 10 Photos of 2014

I guess I’m one of those people who like a Top 10 List – what can I say?

2014 was a pretty decent year. It had some fun pockets of rising high, but it also had the plunges. These may not be the best photos of the year literally, but the sentiments that go along with them are. Also, they’re not numbered in any particular importance.

Weddings!
I played some lovely weddings in 2014, solo harp, or with my cellist friend Maria. This is a photo that I use on my new promotional postcard, taken by Malcom Smith.

wedding harpist
wedding harpist

Therapeutic Bedside Music
I began Level 2 in the Harp for Healing Program to become a Certified Clinical Musician (CCM). Right now I play weekly at Highline Hospital in Burien. 2015 is the year I’m looking for paid work in this field. I look very forward to bringing therapeutic to hospitals, hospices, nursing homes and elsewhere and having folks get in touch with me about having harp come to them!

hospice friend

Songwriters Showcase
Back in February I played at Egan’s in Ballard with a small group of three other songwriters. I was immensely pleased to be on the ticket with Cynthia Alexander, Cynthia Marie and Camelia Jade & Mike Antone.

Songwriters Showcase
Songwriters Showcase

Stephen Goes Back To Painting
When I met my husband 10 years ago, he was a full-time illustrator for print advertising, magazines, books, and fine art. Since that time the market for his work has taken a deep plunge and he’s moved to web design, consulting, logo design, marketing… the whole package deal for start-up and small businesses. One of those businesses in early 2014 was Majdor. This client wanted him to paint a piece for the cover of the home page, as well as design the website and other marketing materials. It was wonderful to watch him create art again! Zephyr thought he did a good job too.

Stephen Goes Back to Painting
Stephen Goes Back to Painting

Birthday Recording Session
My Early-March birthday comes at the armpit of winter. The time when snow gets ugly and melted, when the sky constantly drizzles, and when there is only a faint inkling of crocuses starting their accent. It seems like the world is so dull. By February, I begin to feel trapped by winter – but then I turn the calendar and my birthday saves me! With its celebration of cake and kinship, it truly feels like I survived another year! This year, I went to Carkeek Park with my friend Julie Baldridge and picked up flotsom garbage from low-tide. Then, we came back to my place and did a recording session. It was a fabulous day.

Carkeek Park Feather
Carkeek Park Feather

Goodbye Franklin Cat (2007-2014)
Franklin left us the week before Halloween. Franklin (aka Good Buddy, Buddy, Bud, Frank, FranKitty, Franklin Delano RooseKatz) is really really missed. He was slighted his nine lives! Troubled with several health problems, we just couldn’t fix his collapsed lung. He was such a special, gentle cat – never a swipe, claw or hiss. He went out to “In A Silent Way” in the end. We took this photo the day before he died.

Goodbye Franklin Cat
Goodbye Franklin Cat

Now I’m Fine
I am honored, thrilled and left with a loss for words about how grateful I am to be a part of Ahamefule Oluo’s Now I’m Fine. With four amazing shows in early December, we sold out On The Boards before we began. Reviews were terrific and to make maters even more exciting, the album (which I also recorded on this summer) was simultaneously released and has been attracting a lot of positive attention. I didn’t even realize it, but this photo below was chosen to be the cover spread of On The Boards’ season booklet.

Photo of the year (in my opinion!) for Aham Oluo's "Now I'm Fine"  (L. to R. - Monica Schley, Evan Flory-Barnes, Bryant Moore, Ahamefule J. Oluo, Soulchilde Bluesun)
Photo of the year (in my opinion!) for Aham Oluo's "Now I'm Fine" (L. to R. - Monica Schley, Evan Flory-Barnes, Bryant Moore, Ahamefule J. Oluo, Soulchilde Bluesun)

Port Townsend Getaway
This is sort of personal, but my husband Stephen and I haven’t had a childless getaway in four years. There’s a lot of reasons for that, I won’t share, but I wanted to post this photo because it captured a certain bliss and spontaneity we’ve been able to retain for 10 years.

Love Port Townsend
Love Port Townsend

Drumming at Folklife
Space Needle. Cute kid on a drum set. Folklife Festival. This photo kicked off summer.

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Neighborhood Shot
I took this on a random day in the fall, after spending all day cooped up practicing or working on the computer or being mom in the house, this was my 15 minutes to break away outside alone! The afternoon lighting was eerie and peaceful and made me feel very content to live in Seattle, my rainy home.

Eerie Peaceful
Eerie Peaceful

“Harp Carols” CD Available Now

Album Cover design by Luara Moore
Album Cover design by Luara Moore

Last year, I released a full-length album “Harp Carols” for the Christmas season. This is an album dedicated to my mother Nancy, who had been asking for something like this from me for over a decade – what a wait!

I’ll be performing the album songs live in December (more on that coming up). CDs will be available at a number of gift shops during the Holiday Season, but if you just can’t wait…

You can download “Harp Carols” here for $7 or purchase the disc for $10 on Bandcamp.

“Harp Carols” is a collection of ancient noels on solo harp and features clarinetist Rosalyn DeRoos on the last song. All songs are traditional Christmas carols except track 7, an improvisation on Gabriel Faure’s “Pavane,” and track 10, “Journey to the Magi,” an original tune a la Alice Coltrane with influence by the T.S. Eliot poem. “Harp Carols” celebrates Europe’s music of 15th Century – 19th Century holiday season and will transport you to a place of Old World calm during this winter’s busiest month.

Therapeutic Bedside Harp

This week I started playing harp at Highline Hospital in Burien. There, I play music at the bedside of patients on the surgery unit, either in pre- or  post- operation.

My official volunteer badge - I jumped through a lot of hoops to get this!
My official volunteer badge - I jumped through a lot of hoops to get this!

Therapeutic beside music is live acoustic music, played or sung, specifically tailored to the patient’s immediate need, based on the science of sound. It is not entertainment, like music found in the lobby of an institution. It’s purpose is to aid in the healing process for the ill, and help relax their visitors, doctors and hospital staff. First and foremost, therapeutic musicians focus on the patient’s responses to the music, and can change tempo, song, musical mode, style, etc. in the moment. Therapeutic musicians have also studied what style or mode of music is appropriate for the condition that the patient is in. All therapeutic music is played between 60-80 beats per minute, which is the same as the human heart rate.

I am a clinical music intern in the Harp for Healing program, just finishing my last internship requirement. Then I’ll be a Certified Clinical Musician, so I’ll get have some credibility and a title! Monica Schley, CCM.

Previously, I’ve interned at Northwest Kidney Center (a long-time client of mine for their memorial services) and a Seattle hospice care unit. I have found that with each visit I make a friend or two who wants me to return to them regularly.

Playing for my regular hospice friend
Playing for my regular hospice friend

What does therapeutic music sound like? This.

Me and my other little girl, ready to leave for my first hospital visit.
Me and my other little girl, ready to leave for my first hospital visit.

A Month In Reverse

What have I been doing this past month? A month in the life of this mama musician looks something like this:

Wednesday – Bought a violin bow. It was a hot day. Zephyr didn’t want to go to the music store, but then I couldn’t get her to leave. Afterward we visited the library.
Tuesday – Biked across the University Bridge and got stuck when it was up. Watched tug boats, sky and water ripple while I waited. Later on, I worked on a new song about polar ice melt.
Monday – Only one student to teach today. She wanted to work on “Jingle Bells” again, even though its the end of the school year.
Sunday – Played the second annual harp/piano duet concert with Josh for Mother’s Day… “Georgia On My Mind” and “Love Theme from Spartacus”… Four hours went quickly by…
Saturday – Afternoon photoshoot at a bar with tons of make-up and big hair. Colors were purple and gold. I wore a gown and the men wore three piece suits, except for Soulchile who looked like an Egyptian pharoah sprayed with gold.

Photo of the year (in my opinion!) for Aham Oluo's "Now I'm Fine"  (L. to R. - Monica Schley, Evan Flory-Barnes, Bryant Moore, Ahamefule J. Oluo, Soulchilde Bluesun)
Photo of the year (in my opinion!) for Aham Oluo's "Now I'm Fine" (L. to R. - Monica Schley, Evan Flory-Barnes, Bryant Moore, Ahamefule J. Oluo, Soulchilde Bluesun)

Friday – Visited a friend for astrological assistance with clairvoyant tips: Words are not my strong suit right now. I should focus on non-verbal communication like playing music. Fair enough.
Thursday – Motherhood at the beach. We had a picnic of hummus and bread, berries and juice. Tide was low and we collected stones and shells but threw them all back in the Sound.
Wednesday – Heard an inspiring concert at The Chapel Performance Space. The moon was full of springtime blossoms.
Tuesday – Invoiced clients and did paperwork.
Monday – Learned the difference between a contract and an invoice.
Sunday – Went on a date downtown with my hubby to hear friends play a jazz concert. The Teaching was our wedding band.
Saturday – Happy Anniversary to us! Its the year of iron. We bought a new car!

new car loaded with two harps

Friday – Purchased new sheet music, “Mad World” for an upcoming harp/cello wedding.
Thursday – Recording session on a warm day and stayed remarkably in tune most of the time. Earlier in the day, my family and I attended a school picnic to celebrate May Day.
Wednesday – Edited soundfiles from a live concert last winter and uploaded them to Soundcloud.
listening to music
Tuesday –
Rehearsal in the living room with Anne, learning new songs and harmonies.
Monday – Day job at the office. Taught students. Ate vegetarian meatballs.
Sunday – Told Zephyr a “story from my head” about a lost dragon who gets stuck in a cave at high tide. A boy passing in a boat hears the dragon crying and they make friends. In the morning, they make a passage when the water is low.
Saturday – Played a Catholic funeral mass.
Friday – Played a Chinese Buddhist gravesite funeral, then played a gay wedding in a conservatory with the mayor officiating.
Seattle Funeral Harpist

Thursday – Negotiated contracts and updated my website.
Wednesday – Sent paperwork to hospital for therapeutic bedside music.
Tuesday – Had the landlords over for Mediterannean dinner and guilt-free fruit dessert for our lease renewal.
Monday – Woke early and journaled. Went to an African dance class and rehearsed harp/cello duets with Maria.
Sunday – Took the ferry over to Bainbridge for a healing harps summit and had a glorious time eating and playing music all day. In the evening: rested.