Time is on my side, and yet it is my greatest challenge!

I am always on the lookout for how creative mothers make their way through the world – I don’t have any other day job; my work is based on writing and music and I have two young children.

There is a real need for artist mothers to share in their creative process in my opinion – for encouragement, creative tips, support, and just sharing how its done in a practical sense. The world doesn’t always make it easy for artist moms to continue on their journey once they’ve had a baby. The path suddenly gets very bumpy. The road bottoms out. You don’t know how to go on. I would read Dr. Seuss’s “Oh the Places You Go” to my daughter and think – Oh, this is real. This is exactly what I’m experiencing.

When I had my daughter 8 years ago, I was really searching for some creative support written by and for someone like me. I didn’t find anything of the sort. Now I know of at least three podcasts: Rachel Zucker’s Commonplace; The Longest Shortest Time by Hilary Frank; and musician Laura Veirs’ Midnight Lightning. I still haven’t found any written material that deeply addresses how new mothers adjust their creative process and how to support it, which is not to say that it doesn’t exist. I just know I’d still like to read a book like that. However, when you are multi-tasking making dinner, a hands-free podcast is just the ticket! (and these three mentioned are great).

I used to have a more elaborate system of writing poetry and prose. I would handwrite in my journal, then transfer to a more refined notebook, then type it up, print it out, and workshop the writing. Since having children, I don’t have time to do practically any of that!

With a baby, I always feel like there’s a ticking timer at nap time. I try to squeeze in moments to write or practice, but I never know how long it will be. How long will my creative freedom last? If I start to record, will I be interrupted with a cry? Certainly, when kiddos are school-aged, time opens up. With more than one child, time must be blocked out with more commitment.

I create lists of how to prioritize. There is the weekly one and the daily list. For example today is – #1 practice music for gig tonight; #2 transcribe a piece for Sunday’s Mothers’ Day duet with pianist Josh Rawlings (that I can use for Harp Escape as well); #3 blast out my album to one agency; #4 write something. If I can do that much – that would be AMAZING! I always aim high. Sometimes only one thing gets accomplished, and if someone has a fever or a field trip, forget about it. I have to be real about the current daily situation of food, laundry, school lunch, diapers, etc. that I have.

When I had my first kiddo, I blended my writing and music together, sort of by accident. Once I stopped gigging late night shows, I began songwriting. The poetry morphed into lyrics instead. I had to become selective about what I said yes to. Would I take a club gig at 10pm? No way, not unless it paid well (ha ha ha). Eventually, people stopped asking me, but that’s ok. Because I changed.

I won’t lie. Sometimes I find myself lamenting over the artists who have more freedom than me. It takes so much time to polish a craft and I never feel like I have enough anymore. I don’t have a creative stuckness; I have a restriction. This is interesting though, because motherhood is also the blessing that allowed me to open up into a new form! When I stopped saying yes to all of the club gigs, I put my energy into songwriting. I started singing in public. I wrote enough songs to record an album. I formed a band (The Daphnes) and now I can be leader and call the shots to what fits my lifestyle. I probably wouldn’t have organized it all this way if it had not been for motherhood “restricting” me. Plus, it always seems like half of my songs are inspired in someway by the process of being mom. So – its a two-sided coin. A yin-yang.

I feel like its now or never these days, pretty much all the time. Its sort of Zen, but its also sort of desperate. I am very of the moment. After the baby boy fell asleep today, I checked my email and immediately blasted out a response which has turned into this blog post. It always feels so good to re-purpose something.

Being a musician mama means that I sometimes practice for 5 minutes with a squirming toddler in my lap, I cram in my own practice time between students, or I have to accept that I might be winging it at the gig a little more.

Its maddening! Its terrifying! Its exciting! Its the gift of a lifetime.