The Emotional (and Strong) Woman in 2012

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The sun is filled with ice and gives no warmth at all
The sky was never blue
The stars are raindrops searching for a place to fall
And I never cared for you

These lyrics of Willie Nelson’s get stuck in my head today. For a while, I’m in the auto-pilot windmills of my mind, thinking about a man who used to be in my life. He would demoralize my emotional ways, make me feel guilty for having them at all, which ultimately made me feel small and not at all like a powerful woman who uses her emotions for action. To him, emotions were not intellectual enough because they weren’t cerebral. Hence, emotions were inferior to thoughts of the mind. To him, they got in the way.

Women are often accused of such insults. I even hear pundits and guests telling journalists on NPR that they can’t think emotionally on certain subject matters (like politics), as in, that sort of reaction is not allowed. We shouldn’t make room for our emotions to help us think and act. They get in the way of the work day, of progress.

To that I say: “What on Earth are you talking about? Yes, I have feelings. And Yes, I respond to them. Why wouldn’t I?”

I am the emotional (and strong) woman in 2012.

I do know why some people don’t. It might make make them feel morally conscious. I think that’s exactly why the United States is in the financial quagmire that its in. Not a single person on the Wall Street stock exchange or in the Senate or in the White House was thinking with his gut. And I am not being politically incorrect with my pronoun here.

What the world needs now are more women in power. Not just women who put on the man suit and do their political speak and cozy up to the corporate giants. Hillary Clinton is playing that game right now because she wants to be Secretary of State – its rather indicative of the current Administration and Senate.

But just think: What if there were women in power who actually acted on behalf of the other women in the world!

What I’m talking about are leaders who advocate for childcare options in the workplace, because they need them too. Women who advocate for maternity leave because they need it too. Women who respond emotionally to situations and speak up. Women leaders who dress like women and don’t get sunk into the sea of suits and ties, making them to feel small in their shoes and like they have to feel and act like men do. I mean – and this is key – women at the bargaining table who speak up for the other women who can’t be there (because they’re out working to put food on the table or at home nurturing their families). Overtime.

I mean to call upon some of the women I admire out there: Winona LaDuke and Louise Erdrich, Oprah Whinfrey, Nina Simone and Mother Jones. Sharon Olds and Erica Jong. The Suffragettes and the Rosie the Riveters (my grandmother Monica and great-aunt Dorothy included in this bunch). Harriet Tubman. Maya Angelou. Susan B. Anthony. These women speak and spoke up for women and minorities everywhere and of all times.

I would agree with those who say women tend to be more emotional than men. But so what? Isn’t that one of the things that sets us apart from one another and make us distinctly human? It takes a balance of all people in this world to make it a healthy happy place, and right now our world is out of balance and in many ways not so happy.

We live at a turning point of human history, whether we all know it or not. Everything is changing faster than we can get used to it, which is cause for much strain. If we all turned on our emotions more, I think there would be more outrage in the world about misuse of Earth’s resources, exploitation of workers and the mistreatment we do to one another.

Outrage doesn’t directly translate to anger. (Anger happens with ineffective and/or unwillingness to communicate.) Outrage is defined as an act that violates accepted standards of behavior. People protesting peacefully can be an act of outrage, as can be putting your money and your vote where your mouth is.

When a truth is being misconstrued, our emotions can help us take note of that. Using our emotions can help us get to truth. So when we see and read of things that just don’t sit right with us, that’s that’s our emotions telling us to get involved in what’s happening around us.

* * * * *

I feel Spring in the air today as I walk around the north side of Lake Union. As I move up hill, the wind lifts my heart to speak for what I believe is good that dwells there – that dwells in all of us.

I think of one of my favorite poems, The Waking, by Theodore Roethke.

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“We think by feeling…” Those words have gotten me out of many uncertain times and encouraged me to use my gut, my instincts, my intuition.

“What is there to know?” This doesn’t mean to act blindly. Its a humbling reminder that we just don’t know anything for certain. There are so many people in power right now, either in big business or government (or rallying to get in power) who are so emphatic about their truth being THEE truth. There are other people who are fundamental zealots, who dominate those around them with rules, and get them to feel small, thereby snuffing out that other person’s inner emotional voice.

The only truth is that none of us know the truth for any other than our own self.

What there is to know is to listen from within. Listen to your intuition. It is your voice. It is the little angel (and little devil too!) balanced on your shoulder. That’s your intuition knocking at your heart’ s door wanting to come in for a cup of tea. Answer it. Let it. Listen. That voice is you. Don’t let anyone else club it into submission. If you want, call it God.

Either way, I plan on listening to my intuitive voice and emotions extra closely this Spring. Like a flock of robins, first there will be one, then a whole choir. When we all sing with our truest of voices, then the world can rise up and sing a masterpiece.

To quote a man beloved by the world, “Some say I’m a dreamer. Well, I’m not the only one.”

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New Rates

I haven’t given myself a raise in four years. A few weeks ago I saw quite a few harpist colleagues at the Seattle Wedding Show and comparing prices with them, I was quite below everyone else. My new rates are listed on my website here.

I realize times are challenging for everyone out there. I guess that’s why I took so long to increase my pay. That said, I’ve got to pay the bills too and I think my time, unique skill and set of talents are worth something! I hope you do too. I just took on another last minute client this week and he didn’t scoff at all at my new prices. With respect to my musical community, myself and my clients I think I’ve found a new balance.

Sometimes people comment to me about price of hiring a harpist versus a pianist (or some other instrument). I tell them that harp is a challenging instrument to learn, one of the most difficult. My rates reflect my level of professionalism — 20+ years of performing and focused education (college and post graduate).

I take consideration of your pocketbook and give you 100% of my positive energy when you hire me. You can read some more Q & A about the harp on my Thumbtack profile regarding lessons and private engagements.

Harpy New Year!

Wow. December was busy and amazing. It was challenging and it made me happy to be performing so much again. That said, I’m sure glad its done so that I can take a deep breath and enjoy the change in the air.

I spend a lot of last month playing solo corporate holiday gigs, but I also had a few surprise funerals. I actually like playing harp for funerals, even though they are such somber occasions. I consider it an honor to play music at any rite of passage in life.

The Edgewater Hotel has a beautiful atmosphere. The elevators have a beautiful time lapse video of my favorite city on the water with the ferries coming in. It was a surreal morning there though; I played at 7AM for a corporate breakfast. That’s right – AM. I’m pretty sure that some of my friends would have turned a gig like that down, but as mom to a little person, the early time was just fine to me. It was my earliest gig ever! I certainly couldn’t have imagined doing a job like that five years ago when I was playing a lot of late night shows in clubs. Finding some happy medium on those two would be nice.

Speaking of which, I had a great restaurant gig at the Row House cafe, playing harp for the South Lake Union Art walk. I played a solo set of my own songs and another of Christmas tunes. It was wonderful to see some good friends show up, including Queen Shmooquon and my colleague Joyce Rice who is an amazing harp historian and advocate of the harp through the website Harp Spectrum.

I’ve got some performances for 2012 already cooking up on the stove, one of which is at the River Rock and Maple Wood Golf Course in Renton, where I’ll be playing a three hour solo set for Valentines Day.

That same week, I’ll be playing in a chamber group at one of my favorite Wallingford neighborhood venues, the Chapel at the Good Sheppard Center on February 18th, with Taina Karr’s string ensemble, Quatrain. We’ll be playing new compositions by Jherek Bischoff as well as Mark Jurcisin.

The third public gig I’ve got booked so far in the New Year takes me up to beautiful Arlington, WA at the FogDog Gallery. I’m so excited about this one! I’ll be performing a solo set of music and poetry. If you’ve never heard of such a combination, that’s probably because there aren’t too many harpist poets around! Thus, I will make your attendance worthwhile.

I wish all who’ve taken the time to read my rambles here a prosperous 2012. Its going to be a fast paced new year filled with a lot of challenges and growth for the world. My calendar will surely fill up, so if you want to catch some live harp music in the Seattle area, check back to my website.

Golden Time Put to Use

I am gifted 3 hours of solo time to work today. While this may not sound like much, it is golden to a new mother! Stephen took Zephyr to Urban Craft Uprising and I worked on a new song idea. While doing so, I’m reminded of a poem dear to my heart by Marge Piercy, To Be of Use.

To be of use

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.

The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.

Broccoli Umbrella Etsy Shop

For a few years now I’ve thought about setting up an Etsy shop to sell music, poetry, knits and other crafts. I coerced my husband Stephen to join me with his fine art and illustrations and thus, Broccoli Umbrella is born!

I’ve got my inaugural item, Mood Indigo Triptych, listed for $7. The three pieces – poem, CD, and tea – are all hand assembled, including all of the tea bags, by your truly.

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Top of the World

Last week I had the pleasure to play two private gigs at two iconic Northwest locations: Microsoft and the Space Needle. It was breath of fresh to be able to get behind the scenes at both of these places instead of going through the front door.

Allison at Happily Ever After was the event planner for the wedding at the Space Needle. I was up there on one of the last summer days we had – and the sun was actually in session. The view was gorgeous and everyone I encountered – from the valet to father of he bride – was incredibly kind. l really appreciated how calm Allison, who recommended me, was. Life is more fun when you’re working with people who don’t stress out at the drop of a pin. Instead, we all did our work for the lucky couple on top of the world as the rest of Seattle buzzed around below in the waning days of summer. If felt very rewarding.

Playing at the Space Needle

Harp for the Peoples

So, tomorrow I’m playing music for the peoples of Capitol Hill and you are invited! 9pm. Donations appreciated. I’ll be playing a rare solo set of my songs on harp with vocals too. I’m featured artist the first set, the second set is open to jam for anyone who wants to.
The performance will be at:

The People’s Republik of Koffee
1718 12th Ave
9pm
Here’s a flier.

One other fun thing on my plate has been recording. I’m happy to say I’m finally committing my songs to some sort of permanent record. The plan is to invite guest friends to play on some pieces after I’ve got all the harp and vocals done. Last weekend, I worked on “Forcythia”, a song inspired by my youth growing up on an apiary in Northern Wisconsin, and Anne Sexton’s poem, “It is a Spring Afternoon.”

Phil and Sam from Hey Marsailles had me record some harp for their upcoming album too  – it was a fun way to spend a Saturday morning, in fact, it couldn’t have been better. They’re good guys with good songs and I can’t wait to hear the final product!

Black Eden: Nocturnes show Aug 28

I’m so happy that our first rehearsal in many months went so well. Sheri Brown, Rosalyn DeRoos and I all met up for rehearsal joined by Baby Z, who enjoyed her first exposure to the clarinet.

The show will be at the Gypsy Cafe in (Wallingford) Seattle, which is a cute little all ages venue. It is located at:
3510 Stone Way North
Seattle, WA 98103
(206) 632-0647

Showtime starts at 6pm with Pretty Abandoned, then Black Eden at 7pm.

Black Eden: Nocturnes is a performance with the same name of a poetry book that I wrote, published by Pudding House Press. Copies of the book will be for sale at the show for $10. Here’s a photo of a performance we did in 2009 at the Youngstown Cultural Arts Center with Manifold Motion.