I am driving listing to a poem on KUOW written by Carolyn Wright. She is a Seattle poet I have taken classes with. I perk up because she is about to read a ghazal (pronounced guzzle), a poetic form I happen to be fond of. I am all ears when the poem subject matter is given, the Newton CT shootings. The poem is called “Ghazal for Emilie Parker”. When Emilie’s father, Robbie Parker, spoke about teaching his 6-year-old daughter Portuguese, she was prompted to write the poem.

I am covered in shivers by the time she finishes reading, a litany of the fallen children’s names concludes the poem and am weeping as I reach my destination. As a new mother, I am extremely concerned about the prevolence of violence in America today. I feel old when I say, “it wasn’t like this when I grew up!”

But it’s true.

Our politicians give me little comfort, even though nearly everyone and every measure I voted for last Fall passed.The Sequester has sent a very poor message to America’s people from Washington D.C. and I feel terrified that like The Sequester, America’s politicians may stalemate how we discuss and move forward with America’s serious problem with gun violence. Its up to all of us to chime in, no matter what our opinions are, and tell our legislators what we’d like to see change. Clearly, something must change, and I hope for it to be a succession of wise, compassionate and brave moves.

Contact your U.S. Senators here.

Now, I don’t want to get all preachy on you! But do indulge me. I’m going somewhere I promise.

Candace Pert, a reknowned phychopharmacologist, wrote a book called “Molecules of Emotion”. I happen to be half-way through this book, which is required reading for my therapeutic bedside music program. What I thought would be droll, is a surprisingly exciting autobiography of her work at the top of the scientific world in America. Since the mid 1970’s she has been at the forefront of psychopharmacological study (ie. how the brain responds to phychoactive drugs, naturally occurring in our body and otherwise). She has pressed against an all male establishment since the beginning of her brilliant career, and worked on discoveries that effect cancer and AIDS research, as well as researching what parts of the brain are used when our bodies release natural “feel good” endorphins. In the words of spiritualist and M.D. Deepak Chopra,“Pert was one of the first Western scientists who was able to explain the unity of matter and spirit”, aka the mind, body, soul connection.

She In 1975, she was intentionally left out receiving a of a major award because she was a woman. Instead of burying her head in the sand, as she puts it, she confronted many key players, only to be ostricized by her colleagues. Details in her writing of this actually raised my blood pressure! I share this last bit with you because March is Women’s History Month.

I arrive at home, and decide to Google Candace Pert. I can’t believe what I see. Only yesterday she wrote a very compelling take on the Newtown shootings! What timing! You can read it here.

This article provokes an eloquent suggestion that anti-depressant medication of a certain kind, Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor (SSRI’s) should be looked at as an emotional trigger to mass shooter’s psychologies. She asserts there is just as much concern to bring the use of SSRI’s to this discussion as the NRA and gun lobby issue, video games, media/entertainment’s glorification of violence, the flaws of our mental health system, etc. If this interests you at all, I really do encourage the reading of her article (she as far more scientifically eloquent than I!).

Dr. Pert informed me in an email that the following statement is untrue. However… even correct labeling does little good. That said, she points out that the FDA does not insist that drug companies label SSRIs, which according her cause, can have the side-effect of violence! After reading her article, and knowing the back (her)story of what sort of ethically honorable woman she is, I believe that the FDA and Congress need to put some pressure on drug companies; that anti-depressant medications be initially administered by psychologisists exclusively; and that we check in with ourselves quite seriously about the ways in which we allow big corporate advertising to manipulate our rationale. (How many drug commercials do you see on any given TV break suggesting that you can simply ask your doctor for whatever it is that you want and obtain it?)

(Uhmerica by Regina Spektor is an anthem to my country’s gun fascination. My two-year old daughter is Regina Spektor’s biggest fan and she happens to love this song.)

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“Science is a process, not so much dramatic results,” Pert says. Any artist will tell you the same is true for their artform. Practicing one’s scales is far from glamorous, but an essential part of the process in order to achieve skill. As a harpist, just tuning alone can get annoying and frustrating, but without it, well… forget about it! Practice IS the practice.

Before reading Pert’s book, I had never thought before that the unknowns of running scientific experiments can be compared to making art. The “creator” has the general idea of what they are going for, but not always know how to get there. One may end up discovering something entirely different than planned. There is beauty and meaning is this type of work.

In the creative process, opening up to unknowns can be raw and unnerving, but they often expose a deeper layer to the task at hand. There are signs along they way that tell you you are going in the right direction. When themes happen in life, they’re like personal mini-movies; subject matters that one should be paying attention to.

This happened to me today when several of my interests and “current themes” intersected in an unsuspecting way – Poetry, Violence in America, Healing Arts, Science. I believe that these signs are guideposts that are pointing me toward the right direction at this time.

Starting this month, I’ll begin interning as a harpist-in-residence at NorthWest Kidney Center, playing calming music for patients and staff. My plan is go forward and work at this and other healthcare facilities and do the same. Which ones? I don’t know, but I’m sure there will be a guidepost for me.