Umbra means shadow. In particular, it is the darkest part of a shadow. It also means a shadow cast by something that is opaque, not a solid state. I think about how even things we don’t see as being solid can take shape, like our thoughts becoming real. You know that phrase by Emerson, “You become what you think about all day long?” – I think that is true. Those shadows are thoughts, and those thoughts become beliefs.
We are all made up of light and dark, just like the equinox, a fine balance of sun and moon within. I find shadows so evocative. Perhaps that is why I have written more than one song about them.
The song Umbra comes on the return of a trip to see my family home for the first time in two years. This song had a dark feeling to it, it starts off minor but then ascends into a Major place. When I ask my students if they can hear the difference between minor and Major, we often describe feeling of minor as Halloween, sad, spooky, or lonely. Being in the shadows of not knowing can feel similar.
I don’t speak French, but I can tell by the way she sings, that it is a love song of the most high devotion. She is smitten and lovestruck to the core. As she sings, she idolizes her lover, seeing him through rose-colored glasses. This is why I love playing that tune at weddings and recommending it to people even if they say they don’t know the song. Once I start playing for them, they soon realize they’ve heard it in some movie or commercial. The thing is, “La Vie En Rose” is sort of timeless.
The song plays to our highest ideals, not just about love, but about life in general. “La Vie en Rose” is looking at life optimistically. It is living rosie dreams and seeing the beauty in every day life. It is stopping to smell the roses. It is embracing imperfections and loving despite them. La vie en rose is “live and let live.” It is having ideals. Dreaming big. Finding joy in one’s life and being in the present moment. In literal translation, la vie en rose means the “pink life.”
My Wedding May 3, 2008 (Seattle, WA)
Some say the meaning of the song is that of naïveté, that everything will be fine without paying attention to details. Assuming that situations will unfold in your favor doesn’t inherently mean that you are not paying attention, or working towards a positive outcome. In fact, I have found that the more I am invested in my situations, the better I feel through involvement.
A version of sheet music for “Poor Wayfaring Stranger” came into my possession in 2020 Lockdown, as I was taking yet another neighborhood stroll. (1/10/22 update: download your own sheet music of this song.) I stopped to look at a Little Free Library. I found an unassuming prayer book (whose name I have since forgotten because I’ve returned the book), and in the back of it were songs with notation, hymnal style. As I spent some time learning “Poor Wayfaring Stranger,” I was intrigued by the somber lyrics and the story they told. The struggle of the character in the song felt very relatable (and still does) compared to what the world has been going through in Pandemic Times.
Hidden gems of the LFL
History of the tune “Poor Wayfaring Stranger” comes from Civil War Era American, folk and gospel. It is possible that the song may have traveled to America with a German immigrant and been adopted into early 19th Century American folk singing. It is also possible that, given the time frame and the gospel nature of this tune, that “Poor Wayfaring Stranger” morphed into a Negro Spiritual, as it has a strong Christian message and speaks of a troubled world.
My solo harp version of “Poor Wayfaring Stranger”
Melodically, this folk tune probably traveled by oral tradition, meaning the notation wasn’t written down. The first time words of the song officially show up in America, they were inscribed inside of Libby Prison by a dying Union soldier. For this reason, “Poor Wayfaring Stranger” was also known as “Libby Prison Hymn,” however that name didn’t stick. More commonly, the song is also known as “Wayfaring Stranger,” “The Wayfaring Stranger,” or “I Am a Poor Wayfaring Stranger.” In the 20th Century, this song was recorded by musicians Johnny Cash, Emmylou Harris, Jack White, and Eva Cassidy.
“Poor Wayfaring Stranger” speaks to the trying times of the human spirit on the verge of death. The tune is part Christian hymn, part prayer, part woeful song, part ode to Everyman’s journey,
If we look at the lyrics (which also have nuances like the title), the 1st verse is:
One of my all -time favorite poets, Laurence Ferlinghetti, the great American bard and book publisher, died this spring just shy of his 102nd birthday. From his poem “A Sweet Flying Dream” We drifted wafted easily We flew wingless Full of air our hair Buoyed us We trailed our slim legs In streams of silver air There Was nothing blowing us down Or away From each other
We cannot escape one another. Even though we haven’t been able to physically congregate for a year, we also cannot ignore each other. Though we may feel isolated, worried, and fearful as some of the outer world opens up, we are all floating in this unknown realm together. And if indeed we are flying, it brings us levity and sometimes loss of control. At times it might be easier to just let go.
I have wild dreams about what I’d like to see happen next in my life. Partly encouraged by an artist residency at Centrum; partly in response to the pandemic, I sense a new beginning on the horizon. A new chapter of life for us all is imminent. It is here in fact. There is no holding back, so, best fly with the tricks of our highest ability.
Therapeutic music is an art based on the science of sound. It is typically live acoustic music, played or sung, specifically tailored for a person’s immediate needs. During this pandemic, though my work as a musician has been severely limited in-person, Harp Escape online has blossomed.
Harp Escape
I have created Harp Escape videos (on YouTube) and audio (made available to Patreon supporters) with the major goal of decreasing stress for my listeners in mind. Benefits of soothing music are many, like allowing the body to relax, unwinding tension, and anxiety relief. Music can also and aid in the healing process. Perhaps one of the most fascinating things I have found in studying music for therapeutic purposes, is that it encourages a listener’s breath to deepen and slow. This relaxation has a domino effect and does several things to benefit our body like:
Love is the end of isolation. Sometimes, when I have meditative moments of insight, I get messages of clarity, wisdom, poetry like this: Stop trying to be normal. The end of isolation is love.
This week, after the virtual school started for my 4th grader, but before the preschool has started for my almost 3 year old, I crumbled in a day of chaos, fallen under the hammering spell of a low-grade stress headache. In respite, I sat on the porch, trying to find some order in my mind, and how to create a new work/live/school schedule all under one roof. Its Quarantine 2.0!
Harp Escape is a series of videos and recordings dedicated to relaxing and calming music. What started out in 2019 as a YouTube video series, has turned into a pandemic weekly live concert series (on Facebook) and a new hour of instrumental harp every month (on Patreon).
A contemporary of Claude Debussy and Maurice Ravel, Satie was also a part of the French Impressionist movement. He was older that the others at that time and somewhat reclusive. He was a bit of a mentor to some of the younger musicians at the time, though his use of whole tone scales was considered unusual. Whole tone scales are based upon the Pythagorean theorum, also known as The Golden Ratio. I think one of the reasons why Satie’s music is so timeless sounding is because they are based upon ancient sounds. These old intervals in the scales are striking because they sound at once soothing, unusual and yet familiar.
Certain modes, intervals and tempos are favored when playing therapeutic music. Because the harp is one of the most resonant instruments, it makes itself an easy candidate in therapeutic settings. It is mostly made of vibration.
Often, I work with the songs of Hildegard von Bingen who, during Medieval times, frequently wrote modal music. A rare woman composer of the age, her songs are often in Dorian and Phrygian modes – starting the tonic of the musical scale on D or E, instead of C that we are typically used to. This can sound a bit ancient to our modern ears. Each mode is different from the next, depending upon where the half-steps and whole steps are. Combining modal scales with balanced intervals of 3rd, 4th and 5ths can be familiarizing, resonant in our bodies, and harmonious feeling.
Therapeutic musicians want to be
mindful of the particular ailments of the patient we are playing for.
Not everyone needs the same thing, and that person’s needs can also
change in a short amount of time.
Playing for the Orca whales on top of the world – looking down on the San Juan Islands, WA
Recently, I played for a man suffering from cancer, who was originally from Peru. South American culture is rich in upbeat rhythms. When I arrived playing my small Irish harp (nothing like the Peruvian harp), playing airs and American folk songs, he wanted something much more peppy with quick chord changes. It is atypical for me to play music at a quick tempo at the bedside, yet that is what this client wanted. When I switched styles, he visibly cheered up. It is imperative to look at the patient and harmonize with what they need to hear. If their facial expressions show a displeasure, you would want to change what you are playing, maybe even stop. The quick-paced songs that this client wanted were reminiscent of his youth. That is what made him happy, and that is partially what therapy music is about. Its like a concert for one person with a positive intention.
In contrast, I played for a 95 year old woman who became very emotional when she heard the harp. Her shoulders slumped and she appeared melancholy. She had dementia. When I saw she was crying, I switched to a popular soothing musical choice for harpists – traditional Celtic tunes. She didn’t stop crying. Then, I knew she was experiencing feelings deep inside that couldn’t be expressed otherwise. With her more progressed dementia, she spoke in “word salad”, a sort of unintelligible garble. It must be frustrating and scary to not be able to communicate. Music was helping those repressed feelings be released. When her daughter asked her if she’d like me to stop playing, she said no. Her tears were a relief.
Traditional Celtic music is often very relaxing for a general population.
Having a positive intention behind the
music is a good idea as a musician. Like any caregiver, it is wise to
arrive with no agenda other than to care for the individual in the
moment. If I am lucky, I may even improve their day!
Time is on my side, and yet it is my greatest challenge!
I am always on the lookout for how creative mothers make their way through the world – I don’t have any other day job; my work is based on writing and music and I have two young children.
There is a real need for artist mothers to share in their creative process in my opinion – for encouragement, creative tips, support, and just sharing how its done in a practical sense. The world doesn’t always make it easy for artist moms to continue on their journey once they’ve had a baby. The path suddenly gets very bumpy. The road bottoms out. You don’t know how to go on. I would read Dr. Seuss’s “Oh the Places You Go” to my daughter and think – Oh, this is real. This is exactly what I’m experiencing.
When I had my daughter 8 years ago, I was really searching for some creative support written by and for someone like me. I didn’t find anything of the sort. Now I know of at least three podcasts: Rachel Zucker’s Commonplace;The Longest Shortest Time by Hilary Frank; and musician Laura Veirs’ Midnight Lightning. I still haven’t found any written material that deeply addresses how new mothers adjust their creative process and how to support it, which is not to say that it doesn’t exist. I just know I’d still like to read a book like that. However, when you are multi-tasking making dinner, a hands-free podcast is just the ticket! (and these three mentioned are great).
I used to have a more elaborate system of writing poetry and prose. I would handwrite in my journal, then transfer to a more refined notebook, then type it up, print it out, and workshop the writing. Since having children, I don’t have time to do practically any of that!
With a baby, I always feel like there’s a ticking timer at nap time. I try to squeeze in moments to write or practice, but I never know how long it will be. How long will my creative freedom last? If I start to record, will I be interrupted with a cry? Certainly, when kiddos are school-aged, time opens up. With more than one child, time must be blocked out with more commitment.
I create lists of how to prioritize. There is the weekly one and the daily list. For example today is – #1 practice music for gig tonight; #2 transcribe a piece for Sunday’s Mothers’ Day duet with pianist Josh Rawlings (that I can use for Harp Escape as well); #3 blast out my album to one agency; #4 write something. If I can do that much – that would be AMAZING! I always aim high. Sometimes only one thing gets accomplished, and if someone has a fever or a field trip, forget about it. I have to be real about the current daily situation of food, laundry, school lunch, diapers, etc. that I have.
When I had my first kiddo, I blended my writing and music together, sort of by accident. Once I stopped gigging late night shows, I began songwriting. The poetry morphed into lyrics instead. I had to become selective about what I said yes to. Would I take a club gig at 10pm? No way, not unless it paid well (ha ha ha). Eventually, people stopped asking me, but that’s ok. Because I changed.
I won’t lie. Sometimes I find myself lamenting over the artists who have more freedom than me. It takes so much time to polish a craft and I never feel like I have enough anymore. I don’t have a creative stuckness; I have a restriction. This is interesting though, because motherhood is also the blessing that allowed me to open up into a new form! When I stopped saying yes to all of the club gigs, I put my energy into songwriting. I started singing in public. I wrote enough songs to record an album. I formed a band (The Daphnes) and now I can be leader and call the shots to what fits my lifestyle. I probably wouldn’t have organized it all this way if it had not been for motherhood “restricting” me. Plus, it always seems like half of my songs are inspired in someway by the process of being mom. So – its a two-sided coin. A yin-yang.
I feel like its now or never these days, pretty much all the time. Its sort of Zen, but its also sort of desperate. I am very of the moment. After the baby boy fell asleep today, I checked my email and immediately blasted out a response which has turned into this blog post. It always feels so good to re-purpose something.
Being a musician mama means that I sometimes practice for 5 minutes with a squirming toddler in my lap, I cram in my own practice time between students, or I have to accept that I might be winging it at the gig a little more.
Its maddening! Its terrifying! Its exciting! Its the gift of a lifetime.
The world is full of static and noise, subliminal, and actual. Online. Offline. In our minds and in our streets. Garbage trucks and jackhammers. Nagging conversations and bills. Deadlines and confrontations.
Harp Escape is a respite from the chaos. It is an online aural get-away.
Twice a month, I will bring you new music videos from my harp studio. This music will be played with intention for a relaxing moment, for you to take a break from the demands of your life and breath deeply, while listening to the healing sounds of the harp’s vibrations.
As a Certified Clinical Musician, I have studied how certain intervals, musical modes, and tempos can have a particularly soothing effect. I will merge this ancient healing knowledge with my skills as a life-long musician and harpist of 25 years. I am a songwriter, an improviser, and I will be arranging particular songs for the intent of a healing Harp Escape.
Sound is vibration. Sound vibrates water. Humans are composed of 75% water. Therefore, we too vibrate from the sounds in and around us. Because there is so much stress and noise in our modern world, I feel it is imperative right now to pay attention to the sounds around us.
A New Journey
Harp Escape is an online place to relax. A virtual experience of the harp cannot take the place of a live session, but in this way, I will be able to reach more people.
Our eyes have lids, but our ears do not. We have no way to say “no” to displeasing sounds; therefore, it is essential that we become aware of when our world is too noisy and too stressful. It is important for our good health that we contrast the harmful sounds with pleasing ones, because they will relax us. Through relaxation we can unwind our nerves and return to a healthy homeostatis.
As I begin this journey of bringing you new calming arrangements of harp music, my goals are:
Upload videos twice per month
Share themes, chosen either by me or by you
Offer sheet music arrangements of particular songs
