On Singing (to Children) at Home

My grandmother (my father’s mother) loved to sing while she cooked. Folk songs, church songs, musical theater numbers, whatever popular songs were on the radio at the time – that’s what she sang throughout the day as she did her daily housework. Because it was the 1980’s, I’d hear Linda Ronstadt and Barbara Streisand, Dolly & Kenny mixed in with church hymns. My favorite time of year was Christmas. My aunt played at the piano (and later me), while Gramma, my other aunts, my dad, uncle, and cousins sang in four-part harmony. It felt casual in her house, yet magical to think that our own voices together could make such wonderous music together.

Simple pleasures: campfire songs. There was Jim Croce, Bob Dylan, my dad and his cousins bellowing out “Mr. Bojangles” after a couple of beers. Gramma liked the folk tunes: Red River Valley, Shenendoah, Edelweiss.  She’d sing silly songs too, songs I’d only heard in Betty Boop cartoons, old-fashioned, from a time two generations before me. She’d sing “shoe fly pie and apple pan dowdie makes your eyes light up and your tummy say howdee.” These lyrics were famously amusing to my siblings and me. This one she’d sing while mixing up dough and peeling apple skins. Later, while we at it, ice cream dripping down our chins.

After my grandmother died, I asked my dad what songs she had sung to him as a little boy. He remembered “Nature Boy,” the old Nat King Cole song.

Today, I listened to a podcast from Jeralyn Glass about the healing effects of humming. Even without knowing words or melody to a song, the sound of a simple hum tells the body to create more oxygen and less cortisol (the stress hormone). After a headache, I hum various pitches to make the place in my forehead that hurts, vibrate some. This is, I know from my studies as a Certified Clinical Musician, a type of entrainment. One of the most fascinating stories of entrainment is that of Dutch scientist Christiian Huygens in 1665. His is a famous of example of how two clock pendulums swinging in different began to match in rhythm. In the case of this century’s old science experiment, two inanimate objects have proven that they can synch up in rhythmic time. In my case, I apply my humming voice like salve to sooth the physical pain.

I hum after the most painful part of my headache has subsided. I move my hum up and down in  pitch and volume until it finds a match on the left side of my head. In that place, the hum replaces the witless state of my mind with a gentle touch.

Lately, I have gotten into the habit of playing the radio a lot in the kitchen while I cook and my son plays other side of the room. We keep one another company with the radio songs of my choice (new harp tracks, jazz, classical, the local independent station that plays roots, rock & soul) or his requests – soundtracks to Studio Ghibli or Star Wars movies. I haven’t been singing as much.

After my headache and humming episode, I feel inspired to sing. When my son gets home from school I hum “Nature Boy.” Then, I lazily find the words. Maybe I can remember them? Knowing the words doesn’t really seem to matter while humming. Nature Boy is a short song with a melancholy feel.

My son asks, “What song is that?”  

I tell him it’s a song whose notes sound sad, but the words are about a magical boy. The lyrics have a beautiful message about life. The word for that is bittersweet. Bitter for the way the song sounds, but sweet because of the message in the words: “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.”

Harp Escape vol. 9 (The Dorian Suite)

The Dorian Suite is a song I wrote in honor of my young son. Born in 2017, he was just a toddler when the Pandemic hit, and I wrote this song. At the time I was an artist-in-residence at Nalanda West in Seattle, a Buddhist retreat center. There, I spent hours in quietude composing, meditating, and writing in my journal. (Months before wrote a poem inspired by my new baby, later published in Literary Mama.)

When the world was experiencing early signs of the virus, before lockdown, I was at the Nalanda West a couple days a week. It was a place for me to find peace with the unknown. Any parent with young children can tell you, finding time to oneself is a precious commodity. There are many shifts throughout the day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Music and writing have always been a tool for me to get to a happy place and connect with myself and my place in the world. Through searching, through writing music and words, I was able to find an expression for the time and space of 2020, personally and globally. That is a lot of what this song is about.

This piece has several shifts: from Dorian mode to a relative minor (B minor). The meter, or rhythm, changes back and forth from 4/4 to 3/4 time. This is a musical metaphor for how I felt pulled to and fro, as mom, as musician, as person comfortable in the world, as a person uncomfortable in the world.

Harp Escape vol. 9 (The Dorian Suite)

Sheet music for The Dorian Suite, available now at Sheetmusicdirect.com!

How To Let Go of Your Judgmental Inner Music Critic

We are not learning music to be perfect. We are learning music to enjoy the process of playing. We are learning music to develop a skill. Let go of judgement! If you are hearing an inner musical critic and it feels like negative judgement, drop it. Let it go. You don’t want to be holding unto so much baggage.

If that seems too easily said, imagine that your fingers are actually holding onto little bags of judgment (from past/current teachers, conductors, peers, recording engineers, yourself, reviewers, parents, friends, neighbors, etc.). Imagine that these little critiques, each in a bag on your fingers, are weighing you down. They are slowing down your playing. That negativity is taking up physical space and you need to free it up!

Question: What if you got rid of that inner music critic? Answer: Your hands would feel the freedom to put your fingers on the actual notes you need to play.

Drop the mental comment section. Close down the critiques that don’t make you a better player. You can throw them away in the trash bin over there. Now, locate the comments that do help – the ones that say “don’t give up,” or “there now – that wasn’t so hard!”

cherry blossoms, Alice Walker quote, miners gold

You can keep the helpful comments, but put them in a safe place at a distance, like picture in a frame. Remember, you want to feel lighter. You want to free up your fingers to do the playing that you were called to do in the first place.

You have work to do. Your work is playful and exploratory.

You are practicing the process of showing up and being ready to play music. Playing music is not about perfection, so much as the journey you take to a place where the playing feels good! This is the work you love to do. By freeing your fingers, you are already doing what you need to do. Now, you are ready to practice!

On Writing and Shopping at Harp Escape Shop

We have added more items up in my Harp Escape Shop! If you didn’t see the 30 day Instagram challenge I did in Feb/Mar you might have missed this gorgeous illustration by Stephen Schildbach. Harp Nouveau was inspired by Aubry Beardsley’s art (but I suppose also being married to me)! Now, you too can own a beautiful cotton tote bag with this lovely harp art nouveau design. $20

Art Nouveau Canvas Tote Bag
Harp Nouveau Tote Bag $20

For harpists, I have sheet music for sale. With the song “What the River Says/Aer Enim” you get two for the price of one. Both pieces are arranged for lever and/or pedal harp. This sheet music is for the intermediate harpist in the key of Eb (folk harpers will have to do some extra tuning for this!). This sheet music is for sale for $8.

My tune “What the River Says” is based on the Wm. Stafford poem, Ask Me. The second song, seamlessly merged with the first, was composed by Hildegard von Bingen. If you aren’t familiar with her work, she lived most of her life during the 12th Century, and is considered by many to be the first female composer of Western music. Born in Germany in 1098, Hildegard von Bingen composed music, wrote poetry, and also wrote several books about religion, art, politics, philosophy, science, medicine, and herbs.

This is just the first of many Hildegard von Bingen songs made available to you. I’m arranging an entire collection of her songs for lever harp, coming out next year by Mel Bay Publishing! Some students and friends may already know this. And chances are if you’ve hired me to play a memorial service or quiet ritual, you have heard me play one of these. As I complete working on the book, I’ll be sharing more with you.

What the River Says / Aer Enim Sheet Music (4pgs) $8

And speaking of writing a book… I’ve recently had a poem published! April is National Poetry Month after all, and it feels like a good time to share this. The lengthy title, Poem for My Unborn Boy at the Ballard Locks One Day Before His Birth, (published by Literary Mama) sums up the theme of the poem quite thoroughly. For anyone who has waited for the birth of their child, my go-to technique to get moving 5years ago with my son, was walking stairs at the Locks, over and over again.

The Harp Escape Shop will be undergoing more transformation in the coming months. Feel free to contact me if you run into any bumps in the process.

Ways of Hearing in Modern Times

In the summer of 2020, at the beginning of the Pandemic, one of the first things I noticed in the city, was how quiet things suddenly felt. Air traffic decreased greatly. My house, positioned in North Central Seattle, had been a major flight path to Sea-Tac Airport at particular times of day. I always noticed increased activity between 9-11pm, because that is when I liked to record! Many times, I would have to adjust my schedule, because it was too loud. But once the Pandemic hit, the nights became perfectly still, even in the middle of the city. During the mornings, sea planes would land on nearby Lake Union. This sound also decreased for some months. Suddenly, there was a lot less noise coming out of the sky, and subtle sounds stood out more: bird calls, neighbors walking by. A Pandemic way of hearing was appreciating the certain new quietude. However, with the noiseless nights came some discomfort, about what was going on in our world.

Listen Up! There are many ways of hearing.

Then, as the summer heated up, other sounds took prominence: frequent emergency vehicles and police sirens. I noticed increased helicopter activity and during BLM protests, and more than once I heard SPD fire flash bang grenades as I lay in bed, coming from across the hills from nearby Capitol Hill. There were stories in those sounds. I imagined the Pike/Pine corridor, city streets I knew so well in my old neighborhood, and I imagined the fighting. Later, in the morning, real images on the news joined the sounds I had heard. But as I lay in bed, I felt the whole city, and the whole country, listening to what those sounds meant. I felt many ears listening to the troubles around us, and I had difficultly sleeping.

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Looking Ahead and Being Adaptable

Diversity is the spice of life. My client list is a wide range, from getting hired directly by corporations, to nurses & doctors, couples getting married, playing for hospital patients, in department stores, at transit centers, farm events, before city hall leaders, in historic hotels, for humanitarian non-profits, and GRAMMY winners. Over the last 20 years, I feel fortunate to have met so many people, to have collaborated on events with them, to help create an event where there wasn’t one, or one that needed help planning.

No two days have ever been the same in my work. At various times, I’m a Certified Clinical Musician, a Business Creative, Harp Instructor, Event Producer, Entrepreneur, Marketer, Performer, Poet, Consultant, Speaker, Workshop Leader, Grant Writer, Collaborator, Composer, or Recording Artist.

At Seattle City Hall
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Only the Shadows Know

Umbra means shadow. In particular, it is the darkest part of a shadow. It also means a shadow cast by something that is opaque, not a solid state. I think about how even things we don’t see as being solid can take shape, like our thoughts becoming real. You know that phrase by Emerson, “You become what you think about all day long?” – I think that is true. Those shadows are thoughts, and those thoughts become beliefs.

We are all made up of light and dark, just like the equinox, a fine balance of sun and moon within. I find shadows so evocative. Perhaps that is why I have written more than one song about them.

The song Umbra comes on the return of a trip to see my family home for the first time in two years. This song had a dark feeling to it, it starts off minor but then ascends into a Major place. When I ask my students if they can hear the difference between minor and Major, we often describe feeling of minor as Halloween, sad, spooky, or lonely. Being in the shadows of not knowing can feel similar.

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Living “La Vie En Rose”

One of my favorite wedding songs to play is Edith Piaf’s 1940’s opus to love, “La Vie en Rose.”

I don’t speak French, but I can tell by the way she sings, that it is a love song of the most high devotion. She is smitten and lovestruck to the core. As she sings, she idolizes her lover, seeing him through rose-colored glasses. This is why I love playing that tune at weddings and recommending it to people even if they say they don’t know the song. Once I start playing for them, they soon realize they’ve heard it in some movie or commercial. The thing is, “La Vie En Rose” is sort of timeless.

The song plays to our highest ideals, not just about love, but about life in general. “La Vie en Rose” is looking at life optimistically. It is living rosie dreams and seeing the beauty in every day life. It is stopping to smell the roses. It is embracing imperfections and loving despite them. La vie en rose is “live and let live.” It is having ideals. Dreaming big. Finding joy in one’s life and being in the present moment. In literal translation, la vie en rose means the “pink life.”

My Wedding May 3, 2008 (Seattle, WA)

Some say the meaning of the song is that of naïveté, that everything will be fine without paying attention to details. Assuming that situations will unfold in your favor doesn’t inherently mean that you are not paying attention, or working towards a positive outcome. In fact, I have found that the more I am invested in my situations, the better I feel through involvement.

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Harp Escape for the Darkest Days

We are in the darkest time of a very challenging year. As we enter this winter season, we celebrate the light within and travel to inward time. Harp Escape taps into an old use of music, used as sound healing for your self care. Sufi mystic, Hazrat Inayat Khan said “The use of music for spiritual attainment and healing of the soul, which was prevalent in ancient times, is not found to the same extent now. Music has been made a pastime…”

Join me on Patreon for Harp Escape’s Meditative audio recordings, sheet music and more. Once a month, I bring you high quality Meditative Harp Music audio recordings (ranging from 25-55 minutes), a Relaxing Music Video from my harp studio and places in nature, and sheet music arrangements. All of this music is recorded intentionally for you to find a relaxing space for meditation and mindful daily ritual, for you to take a break from the demands of your life and breath deeply, while listening to the healing sounds of the harp’s vibrations.

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In Celebration of Poet Crysta Casey

It is Veteran’s Day and I miss my friend Crysta Casey, who was a military journalist, poet, and painter. We met in 2002 at Red Sky Poetry Theatre (Seattle’s longest running open mic series). We were quite different people – she was 25 years my senior, a military veteran, and sufferer of extreme mental health issues – yet we had a very casual and organic friendship that came together quite effortlessly. It was only after her death, did I realize she was also my mentor and artistic advisor.

After the reading that night, Crysta and I talked on the street for a long time. She smoked cigarettes as we realized we shared similar poetic influences (Anne Sexton, Sharon Olds, the Surrealists, and others). We exchanged contacts to meet up and share poems. What started as frequent cafe meet-ups to read/critique each other’s work, eventually turned into a weekly date in Crysta’s Belltown apartment with wine and food and an exchange of books and literary magazines.

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